


twilight galaxy

by subducting



Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect 3 - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-16 03:07:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8084356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/subducting/pseuds/subducting
Summary: Shepard overhears Chakwas speaking to engineer Adams in the crew quarters and goes to comfort her.





	

"I guess I'm not alright..."

  
Shepard must've moved or made some kind of noise, because the doctor and engineer Adams suddenly appeared to become aware she was there. She hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but the door had opened just as she'd walked past. Karin Chakwas' eyes were tear-bright, but the moment of surprise at Shepard's appearance vanished from her face behind a smooth glass wall of professionalism. Flicking her eyes to Adams, the commander tried for a reassuring smile that wound up at more of a grimace. "Give us the room, please?" she said, and the engineer nodded, stopping to give the doctor a comforting squeeze on the shoulder on his way past.

  
Shepard crossed the room and sat down, trying to catch the doctor's eye and failing. "Hey," she said- never had been one for being especially good with emotions. Karin grudgigly looked up, recognising the tone. The "I'm not your commander right now" tone.

  
"You must think me highly stupid," sighed the grey haired doctor, sitting back in her chair and blinking furiously to try and get her tears in check, "After you were actually there... and me sitting on the Citadel the whole time, what right have I to be upset..."

  
Shepard shook her head, the mention of Earth still a harsh sting. Instead of clamping down on the pain, as she had been doing, furiously biting down on it to keep a level head and a brave face, she let it twist slightly for a moment. She had reached for Karin's hand, but her fingers slid back across the table as she looked away, taking a shuddering breath.

  
"We left people to die... we watched them die... I watched them die. There was- I- there was this little kid. Watched his shuttle get shot down as we escaped. Tried to save him-"

_Shuttles disintegrating into showers of debris and carnage, flames racing through the wreckage..._

  
She blinked and shook her head. "I could say the same about myself, anyone could. We're alive. There's a hell of a lot of people who aren't." She met the doctor's eyes again. Both sets were wet.

  
"Oh god, I just- I thought... I knew you were on Earth-" Karin clamped a hand across her mouth to muffle a sob, shaking her head, and Shepard felt a new pang. "I know," she murmured, voice oddly husky, as she reached across the table, finally able to overcome what felt like an expanding space between the two of them. Karin's hand slid into hers as the doctor battled again for self control.

  
"It's going to be hell, Jane," she said, breaking strict professional protocol as her gaze met Shepard's, still tear stained but filled with deep urgency, "You're good, but you're only human. Please remember that. For me."

  
Shepard sighed, cowed by the weight of expectation and the horrific stakes. She reached desperately for something reassuring, something that didn't amount to a grim summation of their chances of survival even if she wasn't precious about her own life. Instead, she scrounged together a limping smile. "I gotta be careful. Can't leave this job to someone else. They'd only mess it up."  
The doctor managed a strangled laugh, slightly reassured (if only of the inevitability of Jane ruining any meaningful moment between them with abject sarcasm). Jane was just trying to hold herself together, feeling as if she was stood inside her own chest, holding the walls of her body together with her bare hands to keep from collapsing in on herself.

  
Defeat the reapers. Unite disparate races against them. And somehow, if she could, carry her loved ones through it without the war crushing them.

  
Shepard didn't think she was especially alright, either.

**Author's Note:**

> It's my first run through of ME3 (no spoilers please! I haven't finished yet!) and I just overheard this conversation and was filled with a desire to comfort My Smart Grey Haired Wife. Honestly I will be salty probably forever about Chakwas not being a romance option. L e t m e k i s s t h e d o c t o r .
> 
> anyway so yeah this is predicated on an AU where Shepwas have been together since I guess ME1. I've been mentally drafting a retelling of ME2 from the POV of a Chakwas who was in love w Shep, even if they weren't strictly in a relationship. So I guess this is from the same universe. Might write that one up some day. It's like every shitty angst trope rolled into one.


End file.
